


lay all your love on me

by loverscanthelpit



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Mamma Mia! Fusion, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Finn/Rey (Star Wars), Minor Original Character(s), Minor Poe Dameron/Finn, Minor Poe Dameron/Rey, Reunions, Unplanned Pregnancy, because the plot of mamma mia! demands it, i mean VERY minor but its a good time, listened to a ton of ABBA it must be done, then wash rinse repeat
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-23
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 15:46:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21914209
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loverscanthelpit/pseuds/loverscanthelpit
Summary: A weathered journal cluttered with brightly-colored flowers on its cover laid alongside a myriad of photographs all containing the same toothy grin of a young woman: her mother.The Mamma Mia! Reylo fic that absolutely no one asked for!a.k.a my ode to all the summers i've spend listening to ABBA
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 17
Kudos: 27





	1. honey, honey

_"Eli!"_

The voice familiarly makes its way up the stairs, followed by an exasperated sigh.

_"It can't take this long to grab a tub of paint!" _

Eliana begs to differ, tirelessly shoving mountains of supplies and boxes that had been hoarded by her mother since before she had been born. 

Pressing her lips together, she shifts through another cardboard box of miscellaneous papers and useless knickknacks before moving on to the one underneath it. With a slice of her utility knife, she opens the hastily placed tape with ease.

A weathered journal cluttered with brightly-colored flowers on its cover laid alongside a myriad of photographs all containing the same toothy grin of a young woman: _her mother._

She carefully lifts one of the scattered images out of the box, closely examining its contents. It pictured a group of unrecognizable faces mixed in with familiar ones, including her Aunt Rose, who stuck her tongue out at the camera. Eli's eyes darted over to the brunette seated next to her, the one who she immediately recognized as Rey Niima.

No older than in her early twenties, this version of her mother resembled her almost uncannily. Her button nose was scrunched up as she lets out an inaudible laugh, revealing a three-bun hairstyle that she still occasionally wore to this day. Aunt Jannah, more affectionately called 'Auntie Jannie' from her toddler years, had always called her a darker model of her mom. She had always assumed she was exaggerating, but the only differences Eliana could find were her own dark curls and even darker irises that didn't hold any of the green her mother's possessed.

She reaches down to pick up another of the many portraits left, but her eyes were drawn to the colorful exterior of the diary she previously ignored. She grasps the binding, cautiously flipping the worn pages before returning to the first page.

_June 16th,_

_What a night!_

_Finn and I celebrated graduation at our place <strike>which I should have known was a mistake</strike>. God, this place is trashed. I need to clean it up before I finally move out of this place. I already broke the news to Rose, I can't believe I found a lead on my biological parents! I'm not sure how Finn will take it though, he never has cared about finding his. _

_God, Finn. I've never felt this way about anyone! Last night, I finally kissed him on his stupid face, while led to even more kissing, which led to ... _

Eli paused for a moment. _'dot dot dot?' What does that mean? _

_Oh._

That's what they used to say back then.

Her mind was reeling at the thought of it. _Could this be him?_

Every time Eliana had asked about her father, her mom had only said that it was a summer romance and that he'd gone long before she even knew she was expecting. Eli had naively accepted this fact for years and hadn't given it more than the occasional thought since.

That former indifference was now replaced with a growing curiosity, as she sporadically flips through the following pages. 

_June 21st,_

_What a night!_

_I thought things couldn't get worse after this week. My cheap flight to Skopelos went as well as everyone predicted. My plane landed in Italy of all places and got delayed, of course. I was about to give up hope of finding a place to stay the night when I met the MOST charming man ever!_

_Poe Dameron. How do I melt just by writing his name? Anyway, by luck would have it, he was returning to an exchange program for the summer and offered me a place to stay. I was supposed to sleep on his couch, but after an exploration of the city life in Rome, one thing led another and ..._

_I have the worst hangover of my life. And that's saying something. I never thought I'd be the type for a one night stand, but I had to leave early this morning. Who needs commitment anyway? Finn clearly doesn't care anymore._

She tilts her head in disbelief. Her infatuation for Finn had seemed to had gone south quickly, given the tonal shift from the previous entries. Now what she was left with was another mystery. More accurately, another _man._

Eli turns to the next entry, expecting to find more outlines on her mother's adventures. Instead, a single photograph is stuck to the page with torn pieces of duct tape that curled from years of neglect. 

The image was of her mother, this time without the crowd of classmates that surrounded her. She sat on the railing of a boat encircled by a collection of islands she was well-acquainted with. Her drenched hair soaked her shoulders and half was pulled up in a loosened top knot from what she presumed was ruined by seawater. One of her hands is stretched out towards the camera. Her hand is held by another. It almost engulfs her mother's in its sheer size. Her gaze fixed just above the lens, her body relaxed naturally presumably by his presence. 

Right below, in a foreign handwriting, it's signed.

_With Love, Ben Solo_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> start heavily dissociating to ABBA during a road trip and this is the result! 
> 
> if you enjoyed it let me know! i doubt i'll continue it but it was very fun to write after my TROS depression. but if for some reason you'd like an update it would be fun to write this romance :)


	2. must be funny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> an update was in order! wanted to get this out before the new year :)
> 
> there’s quite a few references to the movie in this one so see if you can catch them! you may recognize one of the actors names ;)

If Rey had been told that her own daughter would be tying the knot before she had, she'd have surely laughed in their face.

Following the abrupt announcement of her engagement to Dominic, she hadn't given herself much time to process it. Her tendency to distract herself with numerous convoluted tasks immediately took over as she splashed new coats of paint onto the surrounding walls of the courtyard.

Lost in her thoughts, she absentmindedly flicks her paintbrush off the wall, spraying the peachy pink Eli had requested all across her face.

A soft chuckling approaches from behind, along with a hand towel just in her peripheral vision.

"Clean yourself up," Leia says with a hint of amusement, "You can't be covered in paint during the ceremony."

"That's not for another _five days,_" Rey groans, making strides towards the fountain that lay in the terrace's center.

As she doused the cloth in its contents, Leia continues, "Which is _exactly_ why you should be relaxing rather than working yourself to the bone."

"I'll relax when this place actually looks like a proper venue," she says as she wrings out the water and gently applies it to the already drying paint, "I really neglected it during offseason."

The older woman sits beside her as she cleanses the hand towel of the colorful substance, "It's nice that she wants a big wedding, I would have expected her to elope like I did."

Rey's mouth quirks up slightly before letting it fall once more, "I don't know what I'll do without her."

Leia grabs her hand gently.

"You've been the perfect mother," she reassures. "If you could take care of her alone, you can take care of yourself."

Rey gives her a small smile before turning her attention back to the fountain. "I think the wedding should be out here."

"Around the site of Aphrodite's foundation?" Leia mused. "Not a bad idea."

"Eli always used to swallow handfuls of this water hoping she'd find true love," Rey smiles to herself, "I think she'd love it."

"Speaking of our bride," she began, "Where is that girl?"

"She took the boat to go pick up some of the guests who are coming early for the bachelorette party," a grin spreading across Rey's face. "Including her au-"

"REY!" a familiar voice yells from afar.

The woman waving for her attention her none other than Rose Tico, a former college roommate out of the many that crammed themselves in their tiny townhouse.

Next to her stood Jannah Calrissian, who would always be the one to supply water to her and her other equally intoxicated friends and bonded over their mutual hatred of college football games. 

Each of them had separate lives from the others now, but have never failed to support Rey through the many misfortunes she faced throughout the years. Both had spent multiple summers on Ahch-To in Eliana's younger years helping raise her when Rey was still fixing up the hotel.

Even without as much time to visit as they grew older, seeing those two constants come to Eli's wedding made her not feel as alone.

With her heart newly light in her chest, she races over to her confidants and pulls in both of them tightly.

"It's been too long," Jannah sighs as she pulls away from them.

"God Rey, when did you become an old hippie?' Rose chuckles, taking in the loose sweater and beat up overalls she habitually wore.

"Oh yeah?" she challenges, "What happened to the lopsided bangs you grew out?"

"They looked great and you know it!"

_"Mom!"_ Eli shouted, running up the gravel path.

Eliana was beaming, her dark hair sticking to the sides of her face, thanks to the constant sprays of saltwater aboard the ship. At this sight, something inside of Rey made a sudden thud in her stomach. 

"The courtyard looks amazing," her eyes nearly sparkled as she took in the vibrant paint and decor that lined every inch of the hotel.

"No thanks to you," Rey scoffed. "You've been running around doing who knows what!"

Eli stuck the tip of her tongue out playfully, then shot a look to Rose. She shoved her hands into her pockets and gave a wink to the young girl.

Rey narrows her eyes suspiciously but brushes it off as just another inside joke that Eli shared with her aunts.

"I'm gonna go find Dom," she chirps. "I just brought a ton of his friends on the boat and I think they're already wasted."

"It's not a real bachelor party if they aren't!"

Eli just laughs contently, rushing away with a small wave.

"She's too young to be getting married," Jannah says earnestly.

"Haven't you been married twice?"

"Which is why she should listen to me, Rose!"

"I, for one, think she's ready," Rose argues. "I trust her judgment."

While the two of them quarrel further, Rey shifts her gaze towards the ocean. As the sun lowered in the sky, she could only recognize a single boat out on the water. A sailboat to be more specific. The numerous sails decorate its masts and with effortless movement, it glides untroubled by the neurotic nature of the waves. An uncanny sense of déjà vu tugs at her and she ne-

"Earth to Rey?"

Suddenly, her attention shoots back to Rose.

"Oh," she blinks slowly. "Sorry, I'm just exhausted."

Jannah raises her eyebrows, "Alright let's settle in then, it's been a long day for all of us."

Rey smiles weakly as she leads them inside. She doesn't take another look at the water.

She stopped counting the days a long time ago.

* * *

The light tapping of Eli's footsteps echoes through the open air as she makes her way the bottom of the stairs. As she reaches its end, her bare feet hit the freezing sand as she hurries over to the docking bay. The lighthouse that lay just east of the mainland shines brilliantly in the darkening sky. She seats herself on the lone bench on the dock, observing the stars slowing making their appearance as the light fades. 

She draws a long breath, fidgeting with her skirt in anticipation. Auntie Rose had promised her that the invites to the three mystery men had been sent, yet all without a reply. She knew it had been extremely last minute, so she should be surprised in the slightest. But a twinge of hope still remained as she looked off into the calm waves that hit the wooden posts below.

Suddenly, a pair of masculine arms wrap around her waist, pulling her up against his chest. Out of pure instinct, she jabs her elbow right under his jaw. He lets go as she whips her head around frantically. The culprit, rubbing the side of his face in discomfort, is the groom-to-be Dominic Costas. 

"Oh my god babe," Eli immediately withdraws. "I am _so_ sorry!"

Dom chuckles lightly while looking up at her softly, "I keep forgetting that you can really pack a punch."

She hurries up to him, cupping his jaw gently.

"Shit," she whispers. "I'm sorry, I've been super on edge recently."

"No kidding Eli," he grins, removing her hand and planting a kiss on her forehead. "Your mom won't be happy that you're using her self-defense classes for evil."

"Well, I wasn't the one who grabbed me mid-dissociation!"

"Fine fine," Dom exhales in defeat, "Could I at least get it kissed better?"

"It's a deal," Eli laughs, tracing the blushed jawline as she presses her lips delicately to his skin. 

He follows suit, places similar kisses along hers before finishing with a single peck of her lips.

"I think that's enough PDA for one night," he breathes quietly, pulling away from a flushed Eli.

Her smile remains for a few more seconds, before faltering in the midst of her own thoughts.

"I'm really hoping they come tonight," she admits, "I can't wait any longer."

"Your dads?" he asks sincerely, receiving a light nod from Eli.

"I just know that I'll be able to tell instantly which one is my actual dad," she states with hints of excitement in her voice. "I've waited my entire life for him to come back into mine."

He places his hand in hers, squeezing it knowing, "He's gonna love you, just like I do."

"God, you're so sappy!" she nudges him playfully, bringing her lips to his once more.

Without warning, a throat clears paces away from the two lovers.

Abruptly, Eli looks up at the source. A decently sized boat has marvelously appeared before them, in front, a pair of men with respective luggage who looked to be approaching their middle age. The first man couldn't be much older than forty, a dashing dark-skinned gentleman with a jarringly nice button-up shirt and slacks. The man just behind him seemed like the polar opposite, a Hispanic older man who was the embodied definition of the term "silver fox", sporting a flowery shirt and khaki shorts.

Their darker features both matched her own. _So much for that deduction._

Eli sticks out her hand clumsily, "Hi I'm Eli!"

"I'm Finn Storm," the first man practically beams. "You're the bride?"

"Yep!" she laughs nervously. "And this is my fiance."

Dominic gives a small wave, bringing that hand to rub the back of his neck awkwardly.

"It's a pleasure," the other man begins. "The name's Poe."

Her assumptions were correct, these men were both potential suspects. Sure, the word "suspects" is a strong word, but they could very well be the key to her past.

"So, you're Rey's girl?" Finn questions, "I'm glad she settled down!"

"She was definitely wild when I met her," Poe cackles. "Any man would be lucky to have her!"

"Well, not exa-"

"How old are you kid?"

"I'm just turned twenty actu-"

"Damn, she settled quick! I met her, what, two decades ago?"

"Same here! She was pretty impulsive back in the day."

"You too?"

"Huh, she must've had a busy summe-"

"Could you guys shut up for a second?!" Eli bursts suddenly. 

Both men are quiet in an instant, staring at the young girl expectantly. 

"I'm just gonna say it so I can get it over with," she breathes. "I invited you because one of you might be my dad, okay?"

A creak from behind the group abruptly breaks the silence, revealing the stiffened figure of an overwhelmingly tall man who was seemingly in the middle of disembarking the ship. His dark hair marked with silver strands was pulling back into a messily tied half-bun, with a severe-looking expression further accentuated by his strong nose and deep brown eyes. He quickly mellowed, stepping onto the dock with a thud.

His eyes met Eli, rather than what she expected to be aggression, was a look of curiosity. They softened slightly as he approached, mimicking her earlier formality.

"I'm Ben," he introduces earnestly. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

_ Ben Solo. _

_ Organa-Solo. _

_ Oh my god, she's an idiot. _

His features almost uncannily matched her caretaker, practically grandmother, Leia. Her brother had been the original owner of the hotel, rarely ever spoken of other than the occasional namedrop. No wonder they came on a separate boat rather than the ferry, this was almost a summer home to their family. Why had her son never been mentioned?

Finally snapping back to reality, Eliana lets go of the man's hand. 

"Lord, are we on Maury?" Finn adds humorously to break the building tension.

He manages to crack a couple of smiles, "Not exactly?" Eli responds with a laugh.

"Babe, we should probably bring them to their rooms," Dominic gently nudges her arm. "It's getting late."

"Yes of course!" Eli says with a newfound spunk. "I'll try to explain what's going on but I barely even know myself."

As they climb the endless staircase that leads to the plateau the hotel rests upon, Eliana clumsily reflects on the journal entries and lack of a father growing up. She explains that there weren't many romantic interests in her mother's life in memory, which piqued their interest at her mention as they continued upwards. As they finally reached the peak, Finn panted heavily along with Poe, dramatically gasping for air.

"These knees are not what they used to be!" Poe states, hunching over, desperately catching his breath.

Ben Solo, on the other hand, seemed completely unaffected part from his chest expanding in and out in a noticeable intensity.

"By the way," Eli says semi-nonchalantly. "My mom doesn't really know you're all here."

This catches all their attention, all completely stilling.

Ben, looking by far the most concerned, speaks first, "You mean she didn't send out the letter?"

"Well," she starts, avoiding eye contact. "I actually did."

She looked back at Ben, seeing that what was first concern in his eyes quickly turned to panic. 

"Eli, you don't understan-"

_ "Ben?" _

They immediately whip their heads around to see Rey standing in the doorway of Aphrodite's Temple hotel. Her eyes glistened in the lamplight, eyebrows raised with her palm against her forehead. She took a small step back, surveying the gathering of men she hadn't seen in years. 

Her mother's gaze met Eli's, hundreds of questions masked in shock.

They returned to Ben's, the initial shock swiftly turning to anger as she stepped back into the lobby and slammed the door, out of view.

"Rey..." he muttered softly to himself, refusing to futilely call out to her.

"Well, that was a unique reaction," Poe deflated, obvious discomfort hinted in his voice.

"What the hell did you do, Solo?" Finn questioned.

Ben looked back at his ship, bowing his head.

Immediately recognizing his desire to flee, Eli grabs his upper arm tightly, "You are _not_ leaving," she snaps. "Not again."

He turns his head in surprise. His shoulders that were once slumped, straightened gradually.

"I won't," he gives, guilt coloring in his face.

Eliana looked at the man, a stranger to her. Even if she isn't her dad, he has no right to leave now.

"Okay," she exhales. "I don't think I should bring you guys in there right now, but there is a farmhouse that I can set up for tonight."

Though their expressions gave away their distaste for the idea, they followed her along the path. As they walked away, Eli glanced back at the building and saw the silhouette of her mother drawing back the curtains in her room. Without the ability to gage her emotions from a distance, she can only watch as it once again disappears.

She was left with one lingering thought, _what the hell happened?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you enjoyed!! i wasn’t sure if i would continue but i’m glad i did! this will be a pretty fun story i think, as someone who adores both Mamma Mia! movies.
> 
> quick question: would you want weekly updates of this story?
> 
> if so, please let me know by commenting! i really appreciate the ones i got and they helped me get the courage to write another. so thank you to those supporting <3


	3. angel eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> warning: explicit scene involving Poe and Rey (very brief) *note the change in rating
> 
> this took WAY too long to write so I made it extra long just for you ;)
> 
> alt. title: rey is a solid mess in her early-twenties (use protection)

**Late June, approximately 20 years ago.**

This was it. After all the utter bullshit Rey's life had consistently been for the last twenty-two years, she was finally going insane.

She'd seen it coming for years, but yet, it still surprised her how much of a disaster her life had become in a few short weeks.

After several submissions to archives for her birth records, they turned up very little, much to her dismay. Her relatives were apparently very adamant about keeping their whereabouts hidden. Which makes sense, considering they'd left her in probably the most destitute town in all of the United States, Jakku, Arizona. 

The foster system had never been particularly kind to her, bouncing from tight-knit families to lonely bachelors that both barely knew what to do with her. In her later years, she managed to remain in the household of Unkar Plutt, a scumbag mechanic who seemed to only kept her alive for her maintenance rates. However, he did let her audit his employees whenever they'd repair engines or replace punctured tires that customers got overcharged for.

This awoke an adoration she secretly held, a love for fixing broken things. It usually didn't apply to people, she had seen that all too often in foster homes that had treated her more like a project than a child. She found it in scavenging for abandoned parts left in the shop and even once discovered a decrepit motorcycle left in a nearby alleyway. Its barren interior had been ransacked of anything of real value, but she worked at it for months until it was fully functional again. 

When that piece of junk finally let out, Rey was completing her bachelor's degree in mechanical engineering at ASU, which she had received a hefty scholarship that freed her from Plutt's clutches. That's where she met the beautiful clusterfuck that was her social circle, who all miraculously survived on instant noodles and tequila. Rey had dreaded the day she would leave them, especially Finn.

Finn Storm. The one who had been the beginning. And what feels like the end.

Finn had been on the same floor as her when she was in the freshman dorms. Rose had a way of intruding on everyone she meets, so her roommate just _ had _ to meet this cute boy down the hall. From the moment Rey met him, they just clicked. He had been in the system like her and would always be the one to drive their friends to whatever clubs they could throw themselves into.

Sometimes these trips would be just them. Mostly it was taking the road down to Lake Pleasent with a cheap bottle of wine for a hike and conversations that would go for hours on end.

Things never escalated romantically for years, even as they moved into communal housing and endured constant teasing about them secretly hooking up. Rose even dated him for a solid month in sophomore year, which was promptly broken off after realizing they just liked noncommittally making out at parties. 

That was until Finn had to ruin it by letting his intoxicated tongue slip on the night of their graduation.

_ "I can't fucking believe that you still don't know I'm in love with you." _

If time could stand still, it would have. She had never even _ considered _ that maybe Finn liked her more than a friend. And she knew she loved him as well, even if she wasn't sure whether it was platonic or not. But with her brain swimming with confusion and _ far _ too many shots, she followed her first instinct.

She kissed him. _ Hard. _

And _ repeatedly. _

The unresolved sexual tension was broken within the hour, leaving her to put the pieces together the next morning.

After dragging her exhausted body from Finn's bed into the kitchen, which was littered with empty bottles that her company had refused to put into the recycling bin and multiple puddles of mystery liquids, she grabbed her journal that was still, miraculously, in the bookshelf.

As she wrote an entry, her mind went to what she had told Rose just a couple days earlier. She had tracked down a specialist that had been kindly supplied to her by Nancy from Finding Family. From what she could find, Rey's alleged family had immigrated from Greece, more specifically the region of Thessaly. It just so happened that Luke Skywalker, a recluse scholar in Skopelos, was the man for the job.

She had always imagined that Finn would go with her if she ever found a lead on her biological parents. His foster care experience rivaled her own in terms of borderline torture, yet he never felt an urge to find his own.

Days later she would find out, he had a _ very _ different perspective than her.

_ "I can't just pack up and go to Greece!" _

_ "Why would you even want to find them?!" _

_ "They left you, Rey." _

_ They left you. _

He didn't go with her.

She bought the cheapest connecting flight to Skopelos. Once again, she was alone.

As she learned from her days at Plutt's, the price matches the quality. The consistent groans of the plane hadn't been promising, which were especially nerve-racking when crossing the Atlantic Ocean. She felt somewhere between irritated and relieved when the captain had announced a pitstop at the glamorously named 'Leonardo da Vinci-Fiumicino Airport'.

Without the funds to invest in a last-minute hotel her substandard airline didn't cover during one of the busiest tourist seasons, Rey had nearly lost all hope. That was until a gorgeous, sun-kissed man had tapped her shoulder lightly while she was pacing back and forth in front of an ill-named help desk. He looked straight out of those telenovelas that one of her foster families used to watch religiously that had always lacked subtitles for her to understand.

His name, as she soon found out, was Poe Dameron. He had been partaking in his college's exchange program, she learned to be the University of Miami, so he could easily recognize the panic of an English foreigner. After many trips alongside the AURA program, he'd apparently fallen for the city and rented an _ appartamento _ ten minutes away by metro with an _ extremely _comfortable couch she could crash on for the night.

Without much of a choice, her spontaneity got the best of her. Rey cautiously took the hand of an eccentric, yet charming stranger that promised to take care of her for the next twelve hours.

As the daylight faded on the impossibly marvelous city, Poe insisted that he simply _ must _ explore the club scene that Italy had to offer. This undeniable intrigued her, nearly giggling as he pulled her into the streets amongst the crowds gathering in its limited space.

The night darkened as Poe introduced the bitterly refreshing Negroni to her palate along with many other pleasing alcoholic drinks she experienced inside the multiple _ discobars _he brought her to.

After both of them were thoroughly wasted, her mushy brain made the brilliant decision to sloppily mash her mouth onto his. The groan of reassurance that came from his throat only motivated her to push him against the nearest wall. Within minutes, the bouncer understood that there was only one logical route to where this encounter would go, so he promptly ushered them out the door.

By some miracle, the two found themselves jamming his keys into his apartment door and tangling themselves rather efficiently onto his bed. His skin nearly burned her as he lifted her tunic over her head and kissed her in ungodly sections of her body. His forefinger circled her slit before sliding into her heat, leaving her gasping as he pushed a second finger inside. If she somehow wasn't intoxicated before, she certainly was now.

With proper preparation complete, he panted in her ear as he glided his length inside her, leaving her moaning in bliss. As she felt herself edging closer, she was suddenly interrupted by an unfamiliar warmth that filled her instantaneously.

Her common sense finally caught up to her. _ No condom. _

_ Shit. _

As soon as he came, she felt his bodyweight collapse on top of her. Pinning her with his arm to the mattress, she abruptly felt trapped. She pushed it off of her and clumsily made her way to the bathroom she had spied early. As she awkwardly cleaned herself of their combined fluids, her mind couldn't possibly comprehend what her life had come to. 

Her empty thoughts continued as she collapsed back onto his comforter, still longing for physical contact, and woke herself early to board her rebooked flight to Greece.

_ Good lord. _ Rey had almost forgotten about Greece.

Scribbling in her journal as her plane took air, she attempted to reflect on the terrible decisions she had made. It ended up being far more positive than she intended, but maybe that was a coping mechanism for her current situation. 

Now, she found herself in the small town of Takodana, a lush province that would provide her ferry to Ahch-To.

As she rushes to the docks with her antiquated duffel in tow, she calls out hopelessly as the boat sailed farther away from the port. After sprinting to the edge of the deck, she stops her aching legs from flinging herself towards it.

In defeat, Rey sinks to the floor, wheezing for air. Desperately attempting to catch her lost breath, she hears an unmistakable snickering coming from nearby.

_ "Tired, sweetheart?" _

Her head snaps towards the snide comment, its source a tall figure, hulking over the railing of a sailing vessel. His dark locks curled past his jawline, accenting his sharp features. And, the audacity, he was _ smirking. _

"Don't call me that," she growls at him, face flushing with aggravation.

"I'm disappointed," he continues. "I was hoping you'd continue your little triathlon." He tilts his head towards the water she had nearly dove into.

Ignoring his previous statement, Rey attempts to compose herself. "Do you know when the next ferry is?"

"Tomorrow," he answers simply. He glances over her once over, possibly evaluating her unfortunate state. "I doubt that's convenient."

She mutters a curse under her breath, looking back up at the man, who eyes her with a curious glance. "Is that your boat?"

"Uh..." the confidence he once held fades slightly, "You could say that, yes."

Thrown off by his sudden discomfort, as if he didn't patronize her moments ago, she pauses.

_ Time to add to that rapidly growing list of awful decisions. _

"Take me to Ahch-To."

_ Well, that was more forceful than she intended. _

"I'm sorry _ what?" _

"I'll pay you." She drops her bag and immediately unzips it, reaching into the side pocket with her wallet. She takes out $40, all the cash she has in her wallet. She charges over to him, holding the paper over the gap of open water between the two of them.

He gapes at her for a second, barely comprehending what she's offering him. "You don't even _ know _me."

"I don't know the guy who sails the ferry either," she retorts, looking intensely into his eyes. In the sunlight, they're pools of honey flecked with golden specks. She felt as if she was drowning for a moment in their severity. She's always been a hopeless romantic but _ this is ridiculous Rey. _

"Are these US dollars?" he questions, breaking eye contact that lasted a tad longer than it should have. His expression is inscrutable, in what she could only describe as disbelief.

"It's all I have," Rey's voice cracks pathetically. The exhaustion of the journey seems to be catching up to her.

He turns away sharply, leaving her in a slight state of panic.

"Fine."

He walks towards the chain that bars the entrance to the deck and unlatches it, extending his hand out while stifling an eye-roll. She takes it, engulfing her hand almost completely as he hoists her aboard. 

"Thanks," she gives lightly, trudging her luggage in her other fist as he walks over to the cockpit. He grunts softly in response, taking the wheel.

"What's your name then?" he asks forthwith, gaze flickering up occasionally as he fidgets with the controls.

"Rey."

"Welcome to the Falcon, Rey," he says, gesturing one hand as if to present the beaten-down ship. "I'm Ben."

As the sails stiffly catch the wind, she pulls the wad of cash from the pocket she had unconsciously placed inside it while boarding.

_Ben hadn't taken the_ _money._

* * *

Maybe if she stares at the ceiling long enough, Rey's problems would miraculously disappear.

But as she looks at the planks above, the remnants of old Behr chipping away, she could not get Rose's rambling out of her head.

"You had to confront this someday, Rey," her former roommate lectures. "I wasn't going to lie to Eli for your sake."

At the mention of her daughter, her mind returns to the group Eli had been walking with nearly an hour before. Dread filled heavily in her stomach, in both regret and betrayal. Though, she wasn't certain who those emotions were directed at.

"She deserves to know," Jannah intersects, squeezing Rey's limp hand. "You _ need _ to talk to her."

Rey blinks away her glazed vision and tears her torso from the mattress. 

"I'll find her," she croaks slightly, before clearing the emotion that had built in her throat.

She walks absently towards the nearby childhood bedroom of Eliana's. With a gentle push, the door clicks open. The array of trinkets and stuffed toys lay neatly on the shelves, nudging her memory to the spontaneous cleaning day they had weeks prior. The comforter bunched up on odd places atop her sheets, but her daughter was absent.

Rey chuckles to herself, knowing that if Eli had returned to the hotel, she would have immediately barged into the room to furiously defend her questionable actions.

Either she's with her fiance Dominic, or she's refusing to leave one of her possible dads alone.

At the thought, a wave of nausea familiarly washes over her. 

_ You had to confront this someday, _Rey repeats the words over again in her mind.

She grabs a cardigan out of the closet, which Eli had stolen too long ago to remember. Rey had always been sensitive to the cold, knowing well that she'll be shivering as soon as she steps outside. A flashlight had been left on the bedside table, so Rey grabs it and clicks the button at its base. 

Shining the dim light she quickly surveys her surroundings, watching as it flickers inconsistently over the shrubberies. Rey absentmindedly walks the worn pebble coated path as she had done for many years. Nearly half of her life was spent amongst these islands. 

Time started slipping before she even knew it.

After several minutes of semi-aimless walking, the flashlight found the beaten old barn that had resiliently stood long before she came here. Her mind wanders back to the faux camping trips that Eli and she would take, setting up sleeping bags and homemade marshmallows that would stick to their fingers.

The faint voices echoing from inside its walls confirmed her suspicions.

_ Where else would she take them? _

Somewhere warmer than a farmhouse she had hoped, but Eliana never had a gift for hospitality.

A creak abruptly interrupts her thoughts, followed by a familiar face stepping out.

"It's been too long, Rey."

Her old roommate slash best friend slash brief hookup, Finn Storm, cracks the most absurd smile Rey has ever seen.

"Hey Finn," she sighs to herself. "I swear I can explain."

He nearly scoffs at her bluntness. "Please do."

"She's not yours Finn."

Rey shifts uncomfortably, which is immediately mirrored by Finn. "I know."

"I still had my regular flow before I left and I _ would have told you _ but Eli didn't tell me she invited you all and I just could never work up the cour-"

"Peanut," Finn interjects before her rambling can go too long. "I know."

Rey has heard that nickname out loud since college. The two of them had made up eventually after falling out and starting chatting every few months on Facebook. They had never made plans to visit one another though, which Rey never expected anyone to do nowadays. But, without fail, Finn would always sign off with _See You Soon Peanut. _This had stuck ever since their freshman year when she told him she faked a peanut allergy for the first ten years of her life so her foster parents would change up their sandwiches. 

"But what about these other guys?" he alters the subject casually, trying to take the weight off. "You really don't have a type."

This Rey genuinely laughs at, hardly believing the sheer ridiculousness of the situation.

"I honestly don't know," she straightens. "I barely knew Poe and well..."

Ben.

She had expecting to see him again to feel like torn open wounds, violently gushing out the resentment she had held for years. Instead, it just burned. She wasn't sure which was worse.

"So you wouldn't mind I went for him?"

Rey chokes. _ "Ben?!" _

"No not him!" he snorts, amused by her reaction. "He's a bit too 'broody lumberjack' for my tastes."

"I mean, I haven't talked to him for a solid two decades," she shrugs, recovering from her brief outburst. "I say go for it."

Newly encouraged, Finn breaks into another goofy smile. "Life's too short to not at least _ try. _" 

He reaches for the rusted handle on the wooden door, holding it open for both of them. Reluctantly, she steps inside to a surprising warmth around her. Her eyes dart to the old fire pit that she had set up before Eli was double digits. A hulking figure is crouched over it, still kindling with spare twigs that lay on the ground.

Rey's breath stops short. The sharp inhale must have got his attention, suddenly her gaze was met with those same gold speckled eyes she naively memorized long ago.

Ben Solo held that gaze with intention. She blinked furiously, pathetically attempting to break whatever trance they were in. His focus instantly drooped in reply.

He had changed, of course, but everything she remembers mockingly remains. He had always kept his hair longer, which now framed his features with mixtures of dark and silver tones. The same collection of moles sprayed across his face and upper arms, currently uncovered by his rolled-up sleeves. He had taken out the tied-up style that he had nearly an hour ago. Most of all, the look that lingers on her never hardens. It persists just as softly as it always has.

Neither of them dared to speak in those first moments. 

Poe whistles and pops his mouth from beside her.

_ "Ooookay then," _he finalizes, before turning to face Rey. "Anyway, thanks for inviting me to my daughter's wedding."

A chorus of _ uhhhs _and sputtering emerge from the room.

"What else am I supposed to call her?!" Poe defends. "She wouldn't be the first!"

He smirks and throws his hands up, followed by Finn unironically facepalming in disbelief. 

"God this is fucking insane," Finn mutters to himself holding back a grin, much to Poe's glee.

At the mention of daughters, her original task suddenly came to her. "Do you know where Eli is?"

"She left after she gave us all this equipment," Poe gestures to the cluttered space. "Went somewhere with that boy I think?"

"Dom?"

"Yeah, the gangly blond kid," he affirms.

"Great," Rey politely smiles before inhaling in anticipation. "Can we talk in the morning? I need to clear my head."

"I think we all do," Finn agrees.

She bids a stiff goodbye before turning to leave. As she begins her trek back to the hotel, a hand gingerly squeezes her arm.

Following the tug, Rey is once again facing Ben. His lips are parted as if to speak, but nothing seems to come out. The tips of his ears visibly redden where they're unsuccessfully hidden behind his curls.

"I'm so sorry."

He stares knowingly, almost in a mutual understanding. 

_ You could have stayed. _

He flinches as if hearing her inner scrutiny. 

"Goodnight Ben," she says weakly. Rey wishes she could sound more defiant, or at least angry. But that's all she can muster right now.

She continues on her path, not bothering to look at the unmoving figure still standing behind her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading this chapter! 
> 
> i'm awful at writing exposition so this took a while to write but I hope it clears some things up about how the Hell We Ended Up Here.
> 
> next chapter will be the bachelor/bachelorette party (oh god) so we might get some Ben POV!
> 
> also i'm sorry that sex scene sucked, I swear it was on purpose. we'll get to the good stuff later ;)


	4. nothing else can save me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's been so long since i've updated!! i actually mostly left the star wars fandom, but i adore writing for these two enough to try and update every now and then!
> 
> enjoy the bachelorette party!

An unknown, but completely unsurprising side effect of growing up in rural Arizona, was Rey’s newfound fear of the ocean.

The waves licked rapidly against the hull as the wind caught the sails above. And Rey was absolutely terrified.

When they had picked up speed, Rey had immediately fallen to the floor. The boards were uneasy under her feet and threatened to toss her overboard.

Ben, on the other hand, was baffled even further by this unhinged woman he had let onto his ship free of charge.

Rey had pathetically scooted over to the nearest bench, covered in a solid plastic covering that offered a grip to pull her up. After what seemed like the most taxing performance of upper body strength of her life, she settled into the seat while still gripping the sides.

Following what felt like half an hour of pure panic, the figure of Ben Solo emerged from the helm. While he adjusted the multiple ropes hanging from the mast, he glanced at the pathetic display she’s made of herself.

“Stupid question,” he begins, tilting his head. “But are you alright?” 

All that Rey could manage was a swift shake of her head.

“Seasick?” Ben continues, seemingly still in his own world as he tugs at the cords above.

“I’ve never been even near the ocean before,” Rey attempts to answer, what was meant to be sarcasm only coming off as pitiful.

This catches his attention. “Never?”

“What the hell did I just say?” Rey returns aggressively. Turns out she can be a _ bit _ prickly when she’s literally _ stuck in the middle of nowhere. _

“Jesus…” he trails off, irritation clear in his voice. Perhaps he decided the conversation was over, so he continues tinkering with several parts of the ship.

Rey disagrees. “When are we getting to the island?” she croaks.

“We’ll get there soon, _ sweetheart, _” Ben sighs, clearly annoyed by his unexpected companionship.

“Could you stop calling me that?!” she manages, now sizing him up to be another condescending prick.

He halts, the tips of his ears pinkening as a scowl appears on his face. The man opens his mouth to retaliate, but just tensely flexes his hand at his side. Maybe it was the delirious part of her brain responding, but Rey notices how absolutely _ gigantic _ his hands are. She recalled how they nearly swallowed her hand as she boarded and how they would feel against h-_woah there. Could you calm down for a minute? _

As she leaves her daydream, she hears mumbling from several paces away. Rey only catches a few, “I can’t believe…” ‘s and a “...shitty enough day already...” from the quiet rambling.

The two remain silent for the rest of the voyage. Ben returned to the helm and Rey sat down on the uncomfortable bench, trying to keep her eyes on the horizon. She keeps this up until she feels the sailboat turn towards a dock.

Her gaze immediately shot up to observe the shores. A stone staircase rose from the sand along an impressive cliff, leading to an ancient series of buildings. The rooftops of the town were worn with rain damage and the largest of all the structures looked as if all the colorful exterior had been left to rot.

_ This can’t be it. _

“Are you sure this is it?” Rey yells, hoping to reach the ears of the captain.

A grunt follows, “I wish I wasn’t.”

Ignoring the last snide comment, Rey is more than relieved as that ship comes to a stop. She inhales the fresh, ocean air for the first time.

_ I’m gonna find answers, _ she reminds herself in a newfound excitement. _ I’m gonna find them. _

With this new rush of enthusiasm, Rey lifts up her body and practically _ leaps _over the railing of the hull with her duffle and walks towards the sand.

Rey looks back a moment, catching a puzzled look from Ben as he walks out of the hatch to after retrieving his own things. _ Was he coming too? _

_ No wonder he bothered to pick me up, _she thinks adversely as she approaches the stairs.

After minutes of dragging her stuff up the hill and hearing her companion close behind, they finally make it to the top.

The first thing she notices is that there’s barely anyone around.

All she sees is a couple of older women holding baskets filled with laundry and a very malnourished looking rat scurrying by. 

“Home sweet home,” Ben says simply, exhausted both by the phrase itself and the trek they had just endured.

His attention turns to the depleted hotel she had made out earlier. Visibly gritting his teeth, he steps towards a quaint door on a raised porch.

As they near the battered entrance of the building, a small slip of paper comes into view. They reach the doorway, finally making out the small letters posted on it.

_ To whoever it may concern, _

_ I’m out of the house right now. I will be gone for the next few weeks. Sorry I missed you. _

_ P.S. you know where the key is. Make yourself at home._

Rey just stares at the note, unblinking.

_ “Are you fucking kidding me?” _

* * *

Life may have thrown a whole bucketful of shit at Rey, but she’d be damned if she was going to let it ruin her daughter’s wedding.

Especially not her bachelorette party.

Smiling through the pain is a saying Rey has been familiar with for a long time. She prepared to get reacquainted with it for Eliana’s happiness.

Shuffling through her closet, Rey was failing to find anything nice enough to wear. Her outfit for the actual ceremony was already perfectly styled for the big day, but her mind had slipped on the bachelorette party. 

“Fuck,” Rey mumbles harshly to herself, sorting through her coats and old dresses. A flash of dark material catches her eye. She pulls it out, revealing a mid-thigh cocktail dress littered with glitter.

_ My college party dress. Of course, that’s all I have. _

Throughout her college days to the present, Rey had never been one for shopping. This beauty had come from Goodwill while she and Jannah had been thrifting. Rey had gotten one look at this dress and fallen unhealthily in love with the gaudy nature of it. She slipped on that stretchy fabric and knew it was _ perfect _ for any event she’d ever go to. 

Now that material was going to be the reason Rey had something to wear.

Decades had passed and Rey was not going to avoid becoming victim to age and _ childbirth, _but she was proud to say she kept her figure in good shape. Running the hotel required a lot of manual labor and she found ways to stay healthy in her circumstances. 

Even with all of that, the squeezing required to get into that damn dress was _ impressive. _

Smoothing out the clumping wrinkles of the skirt, she takes a step back from the tiny mirror that Rose had brought from home.

‘She’ll never let me live this down,” Rey mutters to herself in her own annoyance.

Rey has managed to keep herself relatively busy since waking up this morning. Eliana had practically dragged her out of bed to prep the beaches with canvas and fairy lights. Jannah had immediately gotten to work on the appetizers and hors d’oeuvres that had begun to waft familiarly through their living space.

And yet, Rey couldn’t tear her mind away from the men currently sitting in the farmhouse.

_ Men? Just Ben Solo. _

Rey hasn’t seen him since late the night before. Unfortunately, her temper has scarcely improved since her younger years, so instead of resolving her cultivated grudge like an adult, she had half-heartedly knocked her bedposts a few times before passing out in her own exhaustion.

Rey glances at the mirror another time, nearly groaning at how childish she appears. Her fretfulness from the other night had made for a shock of bruised eye bags and unkempt hair that she had tossed up earlier in the day. Rey pulls down the near bird’s nest and brushes semi-thoroughly through the strands. In an attempt to contain the frizz she has just accumulated, she drags a portion of her hair upwards and puts it into an all too intimate style of one bun instead of the former three. Rey sighs at her obvious regression in the past 24 hours but reaches for Rose’s mascara wand that still laid on the vanity. After several pitiful swipes that required a ridiculous amount of cleanup, she added a touch of an extra concealer Eli had given her when she had gone abroad during her gap year. Hopefully, she prays, not expired.

As she finalizes her lackluster crack at a makeover, footsteps come rushing to nearly break down her door. Rose’s expression animates as she regards the unusual getup Rey had put together.

“You look hot,” Rose bemuses, cracking a fit of laughter she hardly suppressed.

“Don’t get used to it,” Rey says as she pushes Rose from the entry and downstairs.

This reaction gets a sloppy wink from her, “For someone special perhaps?”

“Oh get over it,” Rey grumbles, refusing to acknowledge that unconscious possibility.

The two of them trod their way down the path towards the ancient staircase. As they stride downwards approaching the golden struck sands below, Rey internally compliments herself on the array of lights and bonfires she had set up earlier. The beach was practically glowing at this hour, only made even more stunning by the vast ocean beyond, sprinkled with lush islands.

“You really stumbled on paradise, huh?” Rose softens, taking all of it in.

“More than that really,” Rey smiles sincerely.

She spots the silhouette of many young women underneath the shade of the tents, one in such an abnormal outfit, she knew it must be Eli. Most were wearing simple dresses, but a jolt of orange and pale pink was speaking elatedly with guests. Her baggy pants were paperbag tied and matched her aggressively striped tube top. The darkness of her hair rivaled such bright colors, but for her, it was perfect in her mother’s eyes.

Their approach went largely unnoticed, except for Jannah, who had jumpstarted festivities with her production of an obscene amount of margaritas and other elixirs. 

Rey could only sigh to herself and make a silent promise to enjoy the celebration as much as possible.

Turns out, her enjoyment can get _ exceptionally _out of hand.

While the natural light disappears from sight, Rey discovers that her tolerance had worn down significantly since her college days. After her second cocktail, she finds her mind slipping dizzily and holding on tighter to Rose’s forearm as they navigate the bachelorette party.

Soon, Rey is unable to focus on the excitement ensuing before her. She peers longingly at the tumbling clear sea at the edge of the beach, so she detaches herself from Rose’s grip and wanders to the waves ahead.

As she reaches the rim, she grips the heel of her flats and chucked them over her shoulder. Rey places her feet into the oncoming tide and happily shivers at the touch.

In her tainted brain, Rey simply wants to swim out as she has many times before. Luckily trained by years of practice, she dives easily into the swell of water. But as her perception fades, the waves become unmanageable. An inactive panic suddenly rose in her throat as she fought against the waves that grew above her.

All of a sudden, a pair of arms wrap under her arms and drag her upwards. A hand supports her drowsy head from falling abruptly into the splashing stream. Before she can process her rescue, Rey is laid on her stomach, to which she promptly coughs out the seawater she held in her mouth. 

Suddenly sobered by the mild trauma she’d just experienced, she pushes her body to her back and vigorously blinks to make out her emergency lifeguard.

“Christ, Rey,” a low baritone speaks above her, sounding just as exasperated as she feels.

Her vision clears enough to detect the distinct making of Ben Solo.

Of course, it is.

“Why would you do that?” he continues, his voice on the verge of breaking, “You could have died!”

Ben maintains this panicked lecture for several more seconds, but Rey can’t bring herself to hear any of it.

Because he was there. Just like he promised he would be so very long ago.

With her ears still slightly ringing, she breaks her silence with a simple squeaked out sentence.

“You didn’t let me drown.”

Before he has time to respond, Rey forces her torso up and locks him into a vaguely drunken embrace. She squeezes Ben tightly, only now realizing there was no fabric around his chest. All this elicits is a subtle giggle that pressed itself into their soaked frames. Eventually, he settles with a soft hum as he returns the gesture.

Before Rey can react, he loops his arms under her knees and cradles her while he heaves her up the recognizable pathway.

Hardly able to process much in such a state, she plunges into her comforter, which cloaks around her almost mystically. Her lids flutter open to watch Ben Solo flip the lamplight off, to which she shows her thanks by clutching his wrist and pressing her thumb against his pulse. The heartbeat that it possesses quickens with her contact, leaving Rey grinning in triumph.

While her consciousness swiftly subdues, she feels a warm touch against her forehead. 

It’s gone as quickly as it came.

  
  


_ “I won’t let you drown, Rey,” he says mildly perturbed as he treads in the calm waters of the ocean. _

_ From aboard the ship, Rey sits across from Ben, legs dangling nervously as she shakes her head furiously. She looks almost comical with her neon life vest swaddled around her rib cage. _

_ “This was a bad ide-” _

_ “You’ll be okay, I promise,” Ben assures candidly. She meets his eyes, genuity conveyed clearly as he signals her to jump. _

_ Rey takes in the greatest breath she’s ever taken and thrusts her figure forward. Before she can crash into the freezing current below, he binds around her and prevents her head from submerging. _

_ As Rey begins to bob freely with his biceps still wrapped around her waist, she lets out the useless breath and locks her gaze once more. _

_ “I told you so,” Ben comments playfully. _

_ Before he can get another sly remark out of his stupidly gorgeous face, Rey presses her lips on his. Ben immediately deepens it, nearly starved by the former absence of her in his mouth. _

_ In a sudden fit of laughter, Rey breaks apart from him. _

_“You taste like seawater,” she grins, cupping his face gingerly._

_ “Well,” Ben sighs, unable to keep a straight expression. “Now you do too.” _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading this chapter! 
> 
> i'd like to dedicate this to @fylleangst for her comments that have inspired me to continue this story! seriously, i wouldn't have updated without her so thank you. 
> 
> if you want to read more, please leave kudos and comment on what you'd like to see! Ben's POV? actual stormpilot? let me know!

**Author's Note:**

> start heavily dissociating to ABBA during a road trip and this is the result! 
> 
> if you enjoyed it let me know! i doubt i'll continue it but it was very fun to write after my TROS depression. but if for some reason you'd like an update it would be fun to write this romance :)


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